what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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