I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
