How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
