"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
