if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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