her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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