she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
