Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
