I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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