I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
