He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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