You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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