I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
