he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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