She's JV to your varsity
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Randomize
