I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
handjob tips. give me some.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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