Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
