I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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