where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you will always have a special place in my vag
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
