she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
birth control should be required to get into college
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
