You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
