I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize