real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
