he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
