Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
