Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
