Small penises have feelings too.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
