hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
