..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
