You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
