So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
