Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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