Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
