Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
