I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
