i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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