he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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