normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
