Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
