i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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