I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
