Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
