Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
