you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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