Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
