Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
