my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
