Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
