does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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