oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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