Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
