I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
