she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
