No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I think I sprained my soul last night
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
