Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
