I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I will be naked everywhere
I fill condoms, not promises.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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