so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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